In case of emergency

We are almost upon the 1 year anniversary that #3 had an appendix bursting situation.  I've meant to post things I've learned, but .....

1.  Trust your instincts.  I called the doctors office at 4 concerned enough about the day of #3 not feeling well.  They said give it a day, unless her symptoms changed.  Really, we know our kids well enough to know when the pain and uncomfortableness is different from "normal".  I say "normal" because unless there is an extreme amount of blood or other bodily issues, I tend to keep one eye on the problem and go about my business.  I let my kids self administer bandaids, icepacks, arnica, epsom salts and vitamins.  When I called the after-hours medical advice line 4 hours later, they urged me to go to the hospital ER immediately.  Prior to receiving morphine (8.5 hours without pain meds or diagnosis) #3 stated that her pain was 11 out of 10.  She never cried.  Who really could have guessed the extreme pain and condition that was happening.

2.  Have an opinion about what hospital is best for kids.  Just as you check out schools before your kids go, you should know what hospital you want your kids to go to and why.  We are equi-distant between 2 hospitals.  One has a pediatric ER and one does not.  One has pediatric surgeons and one does not.  One is near a maximum security prison and one is not.  Guess where we ended up?  11 1/2 hours in the wrong hospital made for a long night and then some.

3.  Take a plug-in cel phone charger and snacks with you when you go.  You never know how long you will be and how important your phone with texting and games can be.  Also, no one is there to help the parent of the patient.  There is no way I'd leave my child in a space, in 11 out of 10 pain, to hunt out a vending machine, next to prison inmates and stabbing victims.  Normally, I wouldn't be eating between 8 PM and 8:30 AM, but something about staying up through the night helping a sick child made me want a soda or something to keep me up.  I guess it is a good thing I didn't have anything with me to eat or drink because then I'd have to go the bathroom.  Non-ped ERs don't care that there isn't anything to keep your in pain, puking and pooping child entertained.  Thank goodness for phone tic-tac-toe and Dora movies, but what a drain on the battery.  Also keeping in contact with the spouse at home with the 3 other kids and any other support throughout the night is a handy thing too.  Running low on energy from no sleep or food and battery power on the phone are very stressful.  Thank goodness for the Ambulance driver with a phone plug that matched.  We barely made it with power, but we made it.  I now travel with a plug charger in my car in case I end up in a similar situation.

4.  Question the doctors.  We started with an ER doctor that I swear we've had before.  When #4 had an ear infection and the ER was our only option for pain relief, I believe this doctor was very dismissive.  He did not trust my instincts or believe my concern was valid.  He was wrong and was the person saying to me, "If it was my child, I would not run the invasive tests".  Really he was saying this because he must see a lot of cases of gas that parents think are appendicitis.  After 8.5 hours in the ER, I wished we ran the tests when we got there and not 3-4 hours after we had gotten there.   He was basing his opinion on how stoic #3 was being.  He doesn't know her though.  The most whining and crying is usually over a sibling issue.  Since we were without siblings, there is no one to show off for.  We also learned the hard way that nurses and doctors don't always communicate when they change shifts.  Asking questions is important when you don't think you are being heard or need to clarify something.

5.  Go to the bathroom before the ambulance ride.  Luckily I had the foresight to ask the ambulance doctor to stay with #3 while I did this task.  Once we got to our destination, it was straight to surgery prep and such.  No time to pee.

6.  Write everything down.  Bring a small notebook and pen.  I did not and wished I had.  After 2-3 days with little to no sleep, it is hard to remember what you are being told or who is saying it.  People change shifts and days blur.  Write it down.

7.  Have a phone tree established for emergencies.  Determine when you are not in crisis who needs to know.  Set up a process to notify them without you needing to call everyone.  Create an e-mail dist-list to have if necessary for updates.

8.  Use social networking sites if you belong.  It is a way to give simple updates to a larger group than text or e-mail.  You never know who has advice, knows someone to help or can help you in ways you haven't thought of.  It is also a nice way to have communication with those other than your sick child, nurses and doctors.

9.  Accept help.  There is no way to keep a family of 6 running when one of the adults is missing.  Plenty of help is offered.  There is no way to predict who will help or how or what, but be open to it.  We were blessed with friends who took multiple kids, prepared meals, came by to visit and so on.  The kids' schools were flexible and so were others we had prior commitments with.

10.  Be patient.  Tests take time, recovery takes time and then it takes more time.  It took time for the family to adjust when we were discombobulated, and then not.  Recovery took time, and then it took time for the residual attention to stop.

11.  Lastly, you are always your child's advocate.  You know your child.  It is not as if people are out to get you or your child, but knowing when to say stop or how far the whining should be accommodated is your job.  Being a parent means making the best decisions for the welfare and goodness of your child every day all the time.  It doesn't change in case of emergency or not.  I repeated myself in situations I felt were worthy many times to everyone who came into our room.  At the end of the day, I doubt I will see any of the nurses or doctors again (hopefully and nothing personal) and if I offended them with redundancy, then oh well.

p.s. We have now learned that appendicitis is not more or less common in children.  It is not hereditary.  It is ambiguous until it is not.  There is nothing you can do to prevent it and you don't need an appendix to live.  Hubby did research and said it is a leftover organ from when we were more related to cows.  Moo.

2010 recap

All these recaps of last year pushed me to give you an update of some of my blog posts from last year.....  Also, I've been wanting to revisit some of them with new statuses but am not savvy enough in blogging to post changes.

Bunks:  We are all back to our own space.  #1 in his own room and all 3 girls together.  We disassembled #1's bunk bed into 2 single beds.  We thought the illusion of the 2nd bed could double for the sofa request.  No such luck.  We're still looking for a solution for his room without being too    and maintaining a creative flair.  Each of the girls has gotten to personalize their bed with new linens, compliments of Grandma and Grandpa for Hanukkah.  We're trying to accessorize to bring their choices together.

Sugar:  We still have 1 gallon bags of "new" candy from Halloween in the freezer per child.  #1 was motivated with M&Ms by his tutor and raw chocolate by his therapist.  It's crazy how it makes his world go round and him so much more amenable.  We have stopped allowing yogurt past after school snacks.  With 20+ grams of sugar per serving, it was doing us a disservice.  Now, fruit only after dinner.  We still do donuts on Sundays before Sunday school.  The go all sugared up, but then it's God's problem, right?  The tough part is that Mom (I) am temporarily/possibly permanently gluten free.  No donuts for me.

Schedules:  We had #2 choose 2 of 3 seasonal sports to compliment the year-round taekwondo.  Since she and her brother are within striking distance of their black belts, we wanted to focus only on it for a season.  I am still torn with requests and interests of/by my children, friends and parents.  Just today we were swayed into signing up for winter indoor soccer.  My basic thought on this league is that it is expensive ($165-$190) for the short game only season.  It's in small cramped gyms where it is hard to be a spectator.  #3's dear friend and amazing coach pretty much begged and stalked us today to get us to sign up.  Because we love her and him, we waffled and as soon as we can figure out how to get the late fee waived, will be signing up.  Oh, the games are Sunday.  Ugh, now we are paying for Sunday school and not going.  Pfew, only 2 games have conflicts.  Topic for the future is summer camp and camps in general....

Freedom:  Not only did we let #1 go to practice twice a week with friends, but we are now having all 3 big kids come home by themselves 3+ times a week.  The caveat is that #3 is always accompanied.  #1 and #2 alternate who "has" to go with #3.  We make sure in the morning that the wheels match up, meaning that if someone is on a bike, something similar in speed is with the partner.  This plan has received concern based on situations in areas not our own.  There have been abduction attempts near my folks, but I cannot let those deter my plan to give my kids some freedom.  It is freedom that is not unplanned or unworried.  There is no playing after school or on the way.  I am home waiting 95% of the time.  They do not have phones and can call from school before they head home if there is a problem.  We have not had any problems.  Future post is still going to be cell phones with kids.

Buckle up:  #4 is now our only child in a booster seat.  Funnily enough, when she is not in the car, #3 likes to sit in her booster.  I guess it is always better when it is someone else's.  #1 is now allowed to sit in the front seat for non-freeway trips.  We've decided that the speed for these in town trips is low and the seatbelt isn't choking him.

Choices:  Our same friends have had us over.  Some others have asked us for help.  Some Tuesdays I take 8 kids to school.  Some other days, my neighbors take portions of my kids to school.  We recently suspended our annual holiday party, but were able to pull-off a new year's chile-fest.  Again, choices.  #1 wants to go to sleep away, mucho expensive camp this summer.  We are in conversations...no birthday party/present, etc... choices..

Health:  A few runny noses, but no major illnesses.  #1 is now taking vitamin D and all vitamins are self-serve on the table.  #4 has to be monitored so she doesn't take too many, they're like candy to her.  So, cod liver oil, sambucol (elderberry), vitamin D, a probiotic and enzyme are on the vitamin train.  No flu shots and other than a suspected but negative case of whooping cough, we are healthy!  We tried switching out gluten bread for non with a revolt.  Now cinnamon bread is only for the weekends.....

Volunteering:  Still a believer, still helping out in the class.  On a bond oversight committee and working on neighborhood projects and saying no to everything else of the volunteer type.

Praise:  I have been better, but not perfect.  It's not easy to not react.  It's not easy to connect without conflict.  I keep trying to improve and communicate.  It's all a mother can do, along with paying for therapy....

Gamey:  No, Hanukkah did not warrant us an iPod touch for #3 or an x-box blah blah blah for #1.  Boy have they been haranguing.  I still don't see the benefit since we don't have time for the things we do have.

Charity:  Same as before.  Only cranky part was the in-class giving.  Hanukkah was way early this year.  We were done and gone with our in house part.  2 weeks later was the school portion.  How crazy and time consuming.  It all adds up.  We ended up giving within the school to needy people we have never met, but couldn't give to people who have helped us throughout the year.  We'll find a way for balance, somehow.

Piercing:  I've heard we've inspired some friends to "let" their daughter get their ear pierced.  Other friends have seen our place of choice and rejoiced.  So far so good all of our recent piercings are healthy.    We have slacked off on our cleaning regime.  It's been a month, I feel like we're out of the danger zone.  One more month to go and then we'll be hearing clamoring about more earrings.  The girls are vying for some of my earrings.   Uh-oh.

Planning:  Oops, I forgot to look at the assignment packet that was given to #3 the week before break.  Yikes, 3 big things due along with normal stuff, the first week back.  Not a good mix with cranky kids who don't want to go back to school.  We will find a way.

L'chaim-to your health

With our first runny nose/cold upon us I thought I'd put a post up about what we do to stay healthy.  First off, note that it is the child who sucks her thumb that has the cold.  I have found that my kids who suck/ed their thumb get more colds than my other kids.  Even with this, I feel that my family has less colds/illnesses than average.

What do we do?  I believe that less processed and more whole grain is better.  We do not use anti-bacterial soaps.  We do (well, really the kids do) drink whole milk.  We shop first at the farmers' market for meat, fruits and vegetables and have our milk delivered from a local organic dairy.  We believe that food that has touched less hands and miles will be fresher and have less problems.  Our meat is grass fed and so are our milk and eggs.  This means that the vitamin D that is from the sun is in our milk, butter, meat and eggs.  With the vitamin D in food we eat, we get vitamin D.  Yes, all of this food costs more.

We eliminated processed cereal.  Even whole grain that has been extruded into the cute shapes.  My kids miss this, but haven't gone hungry.  We initially switched to bagels and granola cereal and then to warm rice cereal that can be cooked in 6 minutes.  My original thinking was that less processed was healthier.  It has turned out to be cheaper too.

We also supplement with cod liver oil and elderberry.  In the past, I put one teaspoon of Nordic Naturals cod liver oil in juice and had my kids drink that.  It was the only way they received juice.  I was not very consistent with this, but tried.  The elderberry came in liquid format of Sambucol.  My girls all took a teaspoon of that very easily.  Because it is elderberry and it has the word "berry" in it, my anti-fruit/vegetable son refused.

What we do now is have the kids vitamins on the table.  I buy the chewy cod liver oil vitamins at Costco (32mg DHA/4mg EPA), of which my picky son will eat (only yellow ones though).  I also have Nordic Naturals in capsule format (375mg DHA/246mg EPA).  This brand was recommend to me by an anthrosophophic doctor we were seeing.  When #4 was 6 months old, she was very underweight and behind in motor skill development.  We put cod liver oil in everything she ate.  She now doesn't even notice its flavor in food. It has a high level of nutrients compared to the other brands (as you can see comparing the 2 different ones above) and is pretty pure in how it is made.  We've also switched to capsule format in our elderberry and chewables.  Gaia is the brand of capsules with 800mg of sambucus and Solaray for the chewables with 400mg of sambucus.  Elderberry/sambucus can be taken 2 a day and then up to four times a day if a cold is coming or sets in.

I now leave the vitamins on the table and the kids all serve themselves.  This takes mommy remembering out of the equation.  I have taken the Nordic Naturals capsules and can taste them after.  Yuck, but don't tell my kids.  I found Metagenics EPA-DHA Extra Strength.  They are enteric coated and smell like vanilla.  They have 400mg of DHA and 600mg of EPA with no nasty after-taste.

This isn't free, but I'd pay a bit for healthy kids.  It keeps us out of the doctor's office and in school.  It keeps me from feeling guilty when I want to take them out of school for fun things.  I will also say that we choose to not have the flu shot in our family.  Other than when I was pregnant with #1, none of us have had the flu (knock on wood or whatever will keep that statement true).